Should I stay or Should I go?

Should I stay or Should I go?

Separation anxiety experienced by both children and parents.

Mom wipes her eyes as the teacher takes her crying child from her arms, or dad kneels down and tells his child to be brave...

As a teacher I see this all the time, perhaps not the exact same scenario but similar none the less, however before I get started may I just remind you that you are doing a great job, no you are not bad parents and lastly yes you can trust the teacher.

After being in the classroom for quite sometime I've now felt compelled to write this article in particular because, there are a lot of children who really battle with separation anxiety.

          Children suffer with separation anxiety for a few reasons: 

1. They are an only child and their main company has been you as parents as well as other adult company; 
2. The child is the youngest child and has been doted on by his or her older siblings as well as parents and never quite left to fend for themselves; 
3. Or lastly the child is a middle child and feels a little left out, as a result acting out anxiously is the only way they feel they will get attention or they are afraid of being left out  of something (yes there is such a thing as middle child syndrome).   

   

   A bit of independence is key for every child.

I know what you’re going to ask me, so now what? I have the middle child, or the only child etc. Don’t stress it’s never too late and your child is never too old to help them put their best foot forward and to equip them when it comes to schooling. What you need to remember is that every teacher is qualified and has studied countless books on childcare and child psychology, and hopefully if you’re at a good school your child’s teacher should be loving, passionate, caring, and most definitely working for your children’s outcomes.                                                      

                                    Only the best for your little Mr or Miss  

Equipping your Little person! 

As much as I’d love to come stand next to you as you hand your child over to their teacher for the first time, I am going to rather tell you that you can do this and so can your child, and the sooner the better. 

Remember going to school is going to equip your child for life and for facing the big wide world we live in.

So without further delay I will give you some handles that I hope will help you for the initial first day drop off or for the days when the anxiety kicks in; and trust me I know those days pop out of nowhere.

                                                                                                                                                   

Preparation:

•  If it is the first time your child is ever going to school, prepare them at least a month in advance, tell them what is going to happen, get them excited for school. Tell them there will be other children for them to play with, they will make art, learn cool things and have a lovely teacher.

 Equipment:

•  Go buy the necessary school equipment together, make getting ready for school fun.

Lunch prep!

• Pack school lunches together, preparing your child for their day at school.

 Bring Understanding:

• Tell them you cant stay with them because you have to work and only children are allowed, so much fun and playtime.

 Have some FUN!

• When arriving or driving to school play children’s music, or play a games in the car on the way to school, giving them something to look forward to everyday when they are on their way to school. When its school time I know I get to play or sing with mom or dad in the car.

 Arrival time:

• Arriving at the classroom, walk in with your child, say hello to the teacher, it is important for any child to see that there is a connection and friendship between you and the person you are going to leave them with.

 Comfort and reassurance:

• Walk with your child around the classroom, talk about the nice things you notice around the classroom, their locker, their school chair and other items labelled with their name; don’t worry if they are crying just talk over the crying, you’re their parent and your voice will always be a comfort.

  See you later:

• Time to leave now your child is crying and gripping at you with all their might, don’t linger or play into it, a little tough love is okay, hand them over to the teacher even in their upset state, tell your child you will see them later after lunch or whenever pick up is, and leave.

I know this is very tough, but your child will benefit from this so much, you’ll see how your child will develop into their own person becoming independent, forming their own connection with the teacher and having friendships. Your child will become happier, YES happier knowing that they are capable, and in no time they'll be walking into their classroom SMILING, going to their friends and waving you goodbye; “you can go now mom, see you later”. 

You will see them singing in concerts and presenting their artwork very proudly to you in no time. 

Persevere you are fantastic parents!

"a bird only learns to fly once it is pushed out the nest".